Dustin Hoffman admission- a victory for women?

Afternoon!

I'm typing this blog entry in my back garden at the moment. The birds are chirping in the trees, the sun is shining and a gentle breeze caresses my hot skin oft and anon. It's truly idyllic here. Feels like I'm on holiday.

So everybody is talking about that Dustin Hoffman video. The one where he gets teary eyed about the way he has automatically avoided unattractive women in the past. He apparently had a revelation about his attitude towards women while filming the movie Tootsie in which he was made over to look like a woman.

But while I think it's great that he is highlighting just how much society focuses on a certain standard of female beauty, I couldn't help but feel rather unmoved by the interview.

I particularly had a difficulty with him saying that he had been "brainwashed" by society. While I admit that society does have a huge role to play in how we think about beauty and what women should look like, I felt that word was somewhat shifting the blame.

He mentions that he would never have even talked to a woman that was not considered conventionally attractive, which I find just unfathomable.

That seems like more of a personal distortion to me, rather than something society has fostered in him.

Women are subjected to the same barrage of images of perfectly toned, and hairless men and yet I don't feel dismissive of men that don't fit that image. I have met, talked to and loved men who do not fit that mold at all, and yet to me they were wildly attractive.

I'm glad that Dustin Hoffman has come to that personal revelation, and I think it must take courage to admit what he has, but I'm not sure it's something that women should be championing all over social media.

Seems to me that they are celebrating a battle which should not have had to be won in the first place.

Victory for Dustin Hoffman personally? Absolutely!

But surely as women, we need more!

Rather than celebrating not being judged and treated according to our level of beauty, we should expect not to be.

Sun and Secrets

Morning!

Good lord it is hot here at the moment! 30 degrees. I'm definately not made for that kind of temperature. I was working in a hot kitchen for 5 days straight and now I've got a few days off I'm trying to recover from it! I do like the brightness of the sun though and I make sure to sit out and get my vitamin D for the day! :)

When I was working for those five days I actually got up early and studied chemistry before work. Now that I'm off I have to work extra hard not to be lazy. I need to study more.

I have been thinking about the year off after I finish my undergrad, and I reallyyy don't want to.

I am tempted to take my GAMSAT in March. I had previously discounted that as an option because it's in the middle of my final academic year. But I really want to just get started on my career.

So I'm considering that as an option at this stage.

I'm not going to tell anyone (except you) because I know no one will be supportive of the idea. I hate that I don't have that support in my life at the moment but well what can ya do?!

I'm off to make an iced americano before I melt!

:)

Summer time, restorative time!

Evening!


I love the summer! Free from college with no exams looming. Don't get me wrong I enjoy learning in college but it's nice to have a few months at a different pace. No timetable so I have control over what I want to do. Problem is I tend not to do too much. Lazy summer days and all that...

I try and save as much money as I possibly can by working in a restaurant. But this year there isn't that much work going this summer. Definately feeling a bit under pressure this year as I'm due to be charged full fees for my final year ( over 10,000 euro). Not sure how I am going to be able to afford it. I guess I will have to beg for a loan or something. Eeeeeek!

My summer studentship has kicked off properly now (although my contract still hasn't arrived!) I am starting to carry out a literature review at the moment. I'm a bit lost on the direction my work is supposed to take and unfortunately my supervisor is away for two weeks so I can't really ask. But I'll keep going on with what I'm doing.

I may have to reach out to and visit hospitals around the city to collect ideas and data. I don't know why but the thought of doing that makes me so nervous, though I love being in the hospital environment. It's just fascinating to me! My eyes can't dart around fast enough to take it all in!

Went to see my lecturer for feedback and she encouraged me to keep working away. She think I'm on track to get a 2:1 in my degree, which is great...but I would like a little higher! Also she encouraged me to follow on and pursue a career in medicine. That was really great for me because I always feel insecure when I tell people what I want to do. I'm always afraid they are judging me and laughing at me deep down. But having written that sentance I realise how pathetic that is. I don't really care what they think, at least I shouldn't. All that matters is what I think!

But mannn the process of getting feedback from lecturers is sooo intimidating. You basically sit there and let them tell you exactly how you messed up and failed on all your work. I had one lecturer actually laugh and say "This isn't primary or secondary school you know..." Oh dear.

I'm willing to take all the criticism though, I want to learn from my mistakes. I think you learn more from mistakes than you do from successes. Failure has a way of hitting you hard enough to stir you out of your comfort zone (hence me willingly meeting for criticism).

I'm scared because my final year is 100% of the mark for my degree, and one thing I struggle with (among many other things ha) is remaining consistent throughout the academic year. I suck at this actually. My grades swing from 40 or so up to 70/80! Big difference!

Having severe anaemia could explain a lot really. It makes me so sleepy and tired and it can also make you depressed so I hear. Have to get my iron levels up. I've been anaemic for at least five years that I know of.

Started a new diet to lose a little weight before the next term starts. I figure get into healthy eating habits now and hopefully be more inclined to keep them throughout the term.

2nd Year Results!!

Morning!

So I got my results on Thursday morning. Man I was praying and praying for a miracle, I truly knew that I was going to fail at least two subjects. I can't tell you how my heart was pounding away and how I felt like I was going to throw up as I entered my log in details on the website! I scanned the results on the screen and was amazed to find that I had not only passed everything but I had passed them by 20% or more!

I started jumping up and down and dancing around with my family heheh! :D

Honestly I still can't believe it. I spent so much time and energy dreading my results and it was all for nothing!

Really gave me motivation to attack my final year with gusto! I need to push HARD this year. I want to. I want to get either a 2:0 or a 1:2.

This week I also started a paid summer studentship in my college. It's so exciting to be employed by the university, even if it is only for a short time!

The best and most amazing part of the studentship is that I will be writing a research article, which my supervisor says will be picked up and published in an academic journal!

Not sure how she can assure me of that when the article is not even written yet but I am determined to work hard at it and get something published.

I am also trying to write a book at the moment. It's my personal story of struggling with eating disorders. I really want to use my experiences to help and encourage others, so I thought I would give it a go. It's quite difficult and it may not come to anything but I want to at least try! :)

Have been neglecting my GAMSAT study have to do some today. I may have stretched my time frame till next year but realistically it's still not that much time! I'm trying to educate myself on world news so I'm reading the paper and watching the news on TV.

I'm trying to keep moving onwards and upwards all the time, and trying to remain positive.

I'm not where I need to be but thank God I'm not where I used to be. I'm OK and I'm on my way! :D

:)

Lost Art of Blogging!

Afternoon!

I have been away from this blog for too long.

The reason being I have, and I suppose I still am, going through a massive period of doubt in my life. Not doubting wanting to pursue medicine. But doubting the timing of it all.

I have decided (somewhat resignedly) that I won't be able to take the GAMSAT in London this coming September. I just will not be ready.

I feel taking an extra year to prepare will not only help me achieve a better score, but it will also help me become a better person and ultimately a better doctor.

Apart from learning all of the scientific material etc required for the test, I feel I need to sort of "find myself".

My life is extrememly unbalanced and I am not really very physically or mentally healthy, and that definately needs to change if I want to become a doctor.

I don't really want to take a year off to be honest. I'm 24 this year and I feel like I have been waiting forever for my chance, but I guess I need to stop being so impatient and trust that when the time is right I will get my chance.

In the meantime I need to start living again. I need to shake off my depression and get back to reading books and newspapers, painting, going out with friends, taking walks and just generally BEING again. That's just as important as any hardcore study I think!

Anyhoo will update again soon! Results are out on Thursday! Eep!

:)

Sunshine Day

Evening!

Been a while since I updated here. Since my exams ended I've been at a bit of a loss as to what to do! I haven't been studying nearly as much as I should be! Eek!

It's so nice out today so that's not helping much!

I'm thinking of seeing about a GAMSAT study group. Would be nice to meet others going through the same thing.

I have been struggling with physics because of all the maths involved!

Not going to give up though! :)

Over the hump!

Good evening!

It's been a silent blog for the past few days. I have been studying like crazy for my exams. Getting up at six o clock in the morning and going to bed at ten at night. If I'm not taking the test, I'm studying! Ouchies! Three exams over with now which means I am officially more than half way through! :D

Today was my worst exam. I really hope I scraped through, I'll be lucky if I did but I'm trying to be positive. I really am looking forward to Friday when everythings finished!

Then onto the GAMSAT! OH MAN!

Lol I feel like I am a permanent student. I never stop studying or learning something. Which is good I suppose, and part of the reason I am so attracted to medicine as a career. I like the idea of constantly being challenged and learning something new.

I am going to order the Gold Standard GAMSAT book of Friday. I have researched a good bit, and although it's not supposed to completely cover what you need to know, it's a definate start! It's not too unreasonably priced either.

Might look into the tutor situation next week. Am back to work for the summer! SOB! But my bank account will be happy once more!

Anyway I have got to sleep I am too tired to study tonight! Zzz...

:)