Summer time, restorative time!

Evening!


I love the summer! Free from college with no exams looming. Don't get me wrong I enjoy learning in college but it's nice to have a few months at a different pace. No timetable so I have control over what I want to do. Problem is I tend not to do too much. Lazy summer days and all that...

I try and save as much money as I possibly can by working in a restaurant. But this year there isn't that much work going this summer. Definately feeling a bit under pressure this year as I'm due to be charged full fees for my final year ( over 10,000 euro). Not sure how I am going to be able to afford it. I guess I will have to beg for a loan or something. Eeeeeek!

My summer studentship has kicked off properly now (although my contract still hasn't arrived!) I am starting to carry out a literature review at the moment. I'm a bit lost on the direction my work is supposed to take and unfortunately my supervisor is away for two weeks so I can't really ask. But I'll keep going on with what I'm doing.

I may have to reach out to and visit hospitals around the city to collect ideas and data. I don't know why but the thought of doing that makes me so nervous, though I love being in the hospital environment. It's just fascinating to me! My eyes can't dart around fast enough to take it all in!

Went to see my lecturer for feedback and she encouraged me to keep working away. She think I'm on track to get a 2:1 in my degree, which is great...but I would like a little higher! Also she encouraged me to follow on and pursue a career in medicine. That was really great for me because I always feel insecure when I tell people what I want to do. I'm always afraid they are judging me and laughing at me deep down. But having written that sentance I realise how pathetic that is. I don't really care what they think, at least I shouldn't. All that matters is what I think!

But mannn the process of getting feedback from lecturers is sooo intimidating. You basically sit there and let them tell you exactly how you messed up and failed on all your work. I had one lecturer actually laugh and say "This isn't primary or secondary school you know..." Oh dear.

I'm willing to take all the criticism though, I want to learn from my mistakes. I think you learn more from mistakes than you do from successes. Failure has a way of hitting you hard enough to stir you out of your comfort zone (hence me willingly meeting for criticism).

I'm scared because my final year is 100% of the mark for my degree, and one thing I struggle with (among many other things ha) is remaining consistent throughout the academic year. I suck at this actually. My grades swing from 40 or so up to 70/80! Big difference!

Having severe anaemia could explain a lot really. It makes me so sleepy and tired and it can also make you depressed so I hear. Have to get my iron levels up. I've been anaemic for at least five years that I know of.

Started a new diet to lose a little weight before the next term starts. I figure get into healthy eating habits now and hopefully be more inclined to keep them throughout the term.