Bon Giourno?

Well I am suffering from a serious case of procrastination and apathy. I just can't seem to get anything done at the moment. I think it's because I'm such a goal oriented person. I always like to plan what is going to happen and where I'm heading.

I've been slowly coming to terms with how unlikely it is of doing medicine over here. The fees are just so high. It puts so much pressure on you to do well in the course and even afterwards. I read about one woman who graduated and works as a doctor but feels suicidal because of the pressure of debt from her student loans. I don't want that kind of debt haning over my head.

Also another reason is I don't want to have to get my mother as a guarantor on the loan. It's too much to ask of her. Especially as she has helped so much in my education up to now.

Soooo Irelands out, UK would be great I know that there are more grants etc available for students, but the fees are still high. Around £9,000.

Now I'm thinking of trying Italy where fees range from around 650-6500. That's the scary option of moving completely abroad.

I'm a shy person and I struggle with depression and fibromyalgia so the prospect of moving away from all my support systems to a country I've never been to and don't speak the native language is a pretty intimidating one!

I also have to take an entrance exam which requires knowledge of science subjects. Not great for me.

This all probably means I'll need to take another year out after this degree I'm doing to get ready for it all. I know I can't be impatient about something so important but I feel like I've been waiting forever to do this. It's just horrible.

I probably need to stop worrying and planning so much for the future and just enjoy the present a bit more but I actually don't know how to do that. I am always thinking ahead. Always!

Well better head off and try get something done either work or meditation or something! :P

:)